Business Management

I was coaching a manager recently on one of his leadership challenges which was complaints from his staff. He was struggling to understand why they kept complaining about his managerial style. "I'm addressing everything they brought to my attention!" he said in frustration. In our coaching conversations, we discovered that he was weaker in the 3rd EQ skill described in this week's article.
What is EQ?EQ (emotional quotient) is otherwise known as Emotional Intelligence. Now hang on, some folks have an adverse reaction to the words Emotional Intelligence because it sounds.... well... too emotional for the workplace. Is that you? :-) Wait! Keep reading! :-) Even the NFL and the US military have embraced the use EI training because of its profound impact on leadership success. Basically after over a decade of research, it has been proven that your EQ or Emotional Intelligence has the greatest impact on your professional excellence.
Simply put, Emotional Intelligence is your ability to recognize and understand emotions, and your skill at using this awareness to manage yourself and your relationships with others. Your own success as a leader in your organization is dependent on how strong you are in the four EI skills that I'll share below.
1: Self AwarenessHow much are you aware of your own emotions as they happen? How well do you understand your tendencies for responding to different situations and people? Some people struggle with recognizing what emotion they're experiencing in the moment or they may even suppress or ignore it. If you tend to be very aware of your emotions in different situations, you are probably strong in the skill of self awareness.
Quick Tips for Improving: Observe what you are feeling when different situations unfold. Monitor your own thoughts and feelings. Try to discover why you react the way that you do. Record the trends you see. Ask someone you trust to observe you and give you feedback.
2. Self Management If you have a high awareness of your emotions, and you use that awareness to stay flexible, and you can positively direct your own behavior in different situations, you are probably strong in the EI skill of self management.
Quick Tips for Improving: Jot down a couple of situations where your emotions get the best of you. Notice your reactions and buy yourself some time before taking action. Don't ignore or minimize what you're feeling, but slow down and think. If you were watching a movie of yourself in that situation, what advice would you give yourself? Consider your options and choose a positive direction for your behavior or reactions.
3. Social awareness: Ever been in a conversation where the other person got angry at you and you say to yourself "What? Why is he angry? What did I say?" :-) In the scenario I opened with, the manager I was coaching struggled with this particular EI skill. He was not strong on picking up on the emotions of others (his staff) and he continued to be blind-sided by their negative perceptions of him. If you are savvy at picking up on the emotions of other people and you observe what's not being said, you're probably strong in the EI skill of social awareness. You understand what other people are thinking and feeling even when you don't feel the same way.
Quick Tips for Improving The next time a trusted friend or colleague tells you something, try telling them your perception of what they're feeling and see if you are correct. Or, if you are with a trusted friend/colleague in a group situation, share what you think is really going on beneath the surface in that group, or between people and see if they agree.
3. Relationship Management This one comprises the other skills above and can sometimes be the most difficult to achieve. Basically, you are using your awareness of your own emotions and the emotions of others to manage relational interactions to create positive outcomes even in difficult conversations.
Quick Tips for Improving: Get with that trusted friend or colleague again. :-) Ask them a few questions like... What do I have a knack for that helps e get along with other people? What holds me back from relating as well as I could to others? Is there a behavior that you think I can tone down?
Skimming the Surface: I know that in this article, I've only skimmed the surface of how you can excel with Emotional Intelligence. That said, Emotional Intelligence can be developed even if you are weak in all areas. With the example of the manager that I was coaching, we first discovered the areas where he was weaker, then used skill-building techniques over a few weeks. In the end, he was blown away by the overwhelmingly positive feedback from his staff. His success as a manager became almost effortless after his skills in EI dramatically improved.